There were many aspects of the reading and reflecting process that I found harder or easier than I expected going into the assignment. Something that I found really difficult was making connections and having thoughts about the reading but then not being able to immediately discuss it with the class. I believe that class discussions were the aspect that I did not know I needed over the summer; however, once I got to see how helpful they are during the first semester, it made reading without them hard. It was also difficult for me to not get caught up in things that I did not understand. I definitely had to try and adjust the way I was reading because in the beginning I would close read and spend way too much time trying to figure out one idea. By the end of the week I adjusted to looking for broader concepts and connections to ideas from Greenblat and Scott.
Another interesting concept and connection I did not think of before reading was religion. I have not read biblical texts in such a long time but I grew up cathlioc and used to be incredibly familiar with many of the stories. I thought that the different perception to god and satan related back to how “one man's alien is another man’s authority.” It felt natural to just label the alien as satan but the more I thought about it the more I think that the negativity that is used to describe satan is how he was perceived to be alien. I also found it interesting to look at the text and how it connected to self fashioning through the creation. It also connects to the control that Greenblat points out that Christianity (Authority) had over many people. I thought of this control a lot while reading the stories in a general sense of religion, throughout the stories about creation, because it is interesting to think of the powers at hand and how power was being inserted into the story.
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"I felt, as I worked on the essays for the English Institute and the other occasions, a growing sense of excitement: not so much a governing idea as a feeling of something brewing. This feeling,Before the actual difficulties of writing set in, as always been for me the happiest moment and the composition process: you become allergic to everything, including things that everyone including you had long regarded as boring or unimportant, and everything you encounter, however accidentally, seems potentially rich with significance" (Greenblat xiii).
The feeling of excitement that felt Greenblat when pondering his topic of self-fashioning is how I feel while reading and analyzing the texts assigned in AP Literature. The thoughts I have recorded in my commonplace book reflect the progression of my ability to recognize the rhetorical moves in texts. Additionally, I have gained a better understanding of literary terms, choices and how they reflect the author's argument and I have learned to pinpoint the argument, understand why the author is making it, and what they want us to do with the information provided. I have also gained a large understanding of society, self, aesthetic experience, and criticism from the factual evidence in the literary passages. I find myself relating the things I have learned in AP Lit to situations I come across every day. This reading was incredibly hard for me to read and I had to re-read each paragraph at least twice to get a general understanding of what was being discussed. However, I did not mind putting in the work because I was interested in the topic. In order to keep track of important vocabulary and questions I created a mind map in my commonplace book. This ended up being incredibly helpful because it allowed me to revisit topics I found confusing so that I could try and better understand them. At first, I was confused about what self-fashioning was so I watched a video that explained it which helped me throughout the rest of the reading.
The general idea of someone crafting their own personality interested me. It brought me to the question of whether or not someone can change their entire personality. I think that it is possible for individuals to slowly integrate new habits into their lives. However, if someone were to wake up one day and decide to change their entire personality, I do not think that the change would be sustainable. A drastic change such as this would not last because people are accustomed to their set habits. I agree with Augustine’s declaration, “try to build up yourself, and you build a ruin.” It is incredibly toxic to live by a set of ideals that determines what personalities people should have and maintain in order to be considered “elite.” The video I watched that spoke about the topic of self-fashioning discussed how the ideals formed in the sixteenth century led towards gender stereotypes. In the sixteenth century men “fashioned” themselves to fit into the ideals of toxic masculinity while women found their worth in their beauty. As I read on I learned more about how self fashioning gained popularity in the 17th century but existed prior to the time period. I also learned about the connection between self-fashioning and literature. This connection is present because a piece of literature reflects the style and personality of the author. If you analyze literature you can gain insight into the lives of the people who lived during the time period when the writing piece was published. For example, when you read texts from the sixteenth century you will find traces of “profound mobility” because it is what writers embodied during that time period as they discussed the construction of identity. I believe reading this passage will allow me to better understand the literature that I will be reading through my year in AP literature because rather than simply reading the words on the page, I will have the skills to further analyze the writing in order to extract information about the time period in which it was written as well as personality traits of author. After reading the first 6 lines of "Why We Stop Questioning" I got incredibly ecstatic because I have researched how the school system causes children to lose their creativity in the past and I was looking forward to learning more about the topic. I first became fascinated with the connection between school and the loss of creativity last year when I was working on my AP Language Ted Talk. I found that I was incredibly excited to work on the project because I was given the freedom to choose the topic so, naturally, I chose something that I was passionate about. I learned that at the age of 4, children “are seeking explanations, not just facts” which made me sad because although I go to a school that promotes genuine learning, my classmates and I are constantly memorizing without asking why. This is not because we don't care. It is just the way we have to function in order to take in all of the information that is thrown our way. As I continued reading I found that children lose their curiosity as they stop asking questions and this happens as they enter preschool. It let me down that our school system pressures children to memorize facts and spit out information at such a young age. There is so much research that the memorizing that takes place in schools is the direct cause of a drop in the amount of curiosity in students. However, our school system has not changed to get rid of memorization and replace it with genuine learning. The writing highlighted the importance of questioning as it has a direct correlation with curiosity. If we lose our curiosity then we stop improving. I was excited to read about all of the schools that are built to inspire children to ask questions. Reading about these schools' core concepts reminded me of galloway’s motto, play the game of learning, not the game of school. However, I believe that there needs to be a much larger change then the creation of expensive private schools that push students to learn rather than memorize. This kind of genuine learning needs to be accessible in every single school because it is your right to learn, you should not have to pay a fortune for it. In addition, the college application process needs to be completely rebuilt. There is so much research that proves a direct correlation between money and act and sat scores. This is an issue that everyone is aware of so why has a change not been made? I feel incredibly passionate about the topic of learning because I believe that a child's curiosity is a magical thing and hope that the school system changes to promote genuine learning. Personally, I believe that reading this passage will be helpful for every one of my classes next year as it has reminded me about the importance of learning, curiosity, creativity and asking questions.
Throughout the time I spent reading, analyzing, and recording my thoughts on “Better Living Through Criticism” by A.O. Scott I frequently felt excited by Scott’s writing because it lead me to ask questions and make observations about society. I am incredibly interested in psychology so, often times while reading, I got sidetracked because I wanted to brainstorm and learn more about many of the ideas that were discussed. I found the discussion of beauty and preferences incredibly fascinating. I have done a lot of prior research on beauty because I have observed that it is something that our society obsesses over. This reading not only highlighted this observation, but also made me ask questions as it introduced me to subject universal. Essentially, subject universal is when something is considered to be beautiful universally.
This concept shocked me and really made me think because I did not see how something could be appealing to everyone. The writing also discussed how each generation shared preferences. This through me off for the same reason. I have always believed that everyone is different, mentally and physically, and that people’s differences are what make them beautiful. It does not matter how similar two people, or even a group of people are, they will always disagree on something. My belief in these differences is why I felt that subject universal was ultimately impossible. Beauty ideals and trends that have always been present in our society; however, there has always been and always will be people who disagree with what is popular. There were many other topics in the writing that I felt were important, but the one that confused me the most was the topic of criticism. The idea of criticism was present throughout the entire reading, but I felt that I learned the most about it at the end. I felt that A.O. Scott glorified criticism, something that I had never really thought much about. I struggled to see how it was so special because I felt like one person's opinion should not define how good something was because everyone has unique preferences. I felt frustrated and confused because I felt like I was learning what criticism was not but no matter how hard I tried I could not figure out what it actually was. I felt like I was missing something until the tail end of the reading where the author pointed out the question that I was confused about all along. Referencing the point of criticism he asked, “But surely we know what things mean? But we don’t. We have no idea.” This was where I found a little bit of clarification as I read further on and discovered that in order to criticize something we need to care about it. In the end, I really appreciated “Better Living Through Criticism” because, although the reading confused me, it forced me to ask questions and think deeply. I have never thought of criticism as an art form and although it took me a while to open up to it, in the end I have found a new appreciation for it. Reading this passage has shown me the importance of finding a passion for what I am critiquing. I believe that this reading has given me the tools I need to successfully observe and critique literature in ap lit next year. |
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December 2019
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